The stronger I'm , the deeper I hurt..

In da past of this few weeks,
My life was suck.
Life getting worst and worst.
Im still in da emo condition everyday every moment

What happen to me?huh?!
I learn lots of thing from others.

Lovelorn?Heartbreak?relationship?FriEndship?family problem?
This is all the fact that make me emo as everyone do.


I have decided to leave you
is not your wrong
is me.is myself fall in love to you
you got your choice,
you feel him,but not me.
you're coming kl today as we promised.
Nop.it not gotta happens.because of him.
I'll leave you so you wont have a chance to think about me
you gotta be happy and sweet with him..
 -I felt bitter because sweet have mixed without knowing-
For now,you're just my pass time.
I promise myself I wont think back
now in da condition of trying.


Sun,you're da best I ever meet.
Sun that make me happy and even smile.
there are not much of them can make me smile through my real feeling.
I like your shining smile that pass through my heart
Hot and warm feeling you gave me I will remember that.
Because of my emo , I make our friendship broken
but we knew,my heart and your heart still keep each other.
In da night,there is dark in my room.
I'll thinking of you sometime about our memories.
I need your warm,your light.
I knew.I don't think about your feeling.
but I care about.I do not know your feeling.
I wanna know.I'm sorry I do not do this last time
but it is past time.it wont back.
and now.i have no more courage to ask you.
maybe I'm wrong.i knew that.
-A sun that light my life feel warm in only a moment-

Parents,sister.
You are the best .
But can you please don't insult me.
can you all give me confident??
don't everyday scold me .
how old I'm?I knew what im doing.
our relationship are getting worst.
if you all care of me.then give me confident
I had never told you all my feeling.
I just keep in my heart.
everyday on computer,because im doing my stuff.
I'm not like secondary play games.
ya.I'm addicted.im addicted to learn thing from web.
I'm designer.
I need to search alot of thing from web and do pratical in designing.
I learn from others.
outing?ya.i will out when i feel to.i want to learn outside thing too.
I knew what situation in our family now.
we are really poor.but i knew dad mum u are trying your best too.
do you all knew how hard I'm trying?wont.
Without transport,
I really cant do much thing.i need it.
I need it for my future and you all too.
I'm the only one guy in da family.i need to takecare of you all later .
can you all support me ??

That day,
in da night after dinner,I went cycle around klang non stop for few hours
almost every area i have been.
my shirt was full of sweat.
my leg was pain.
I want to release my emo!!
when I cycle,I felt that I'm so lonely.
sorry I'm the person that wont tell my feeling forward to all of you.
Just want to tell you all, I LOVE YOU DAD MUM and SIS.



I need care from the one that I want he/her to care about me
not the one I don't want. sorry ,but I appreciate and feel touch too.
but there is no one that really care me also.
because I emo , they cant accept it.so they just leave me
Sometime,
When I was emo-ing,find someone to chat.
hope to be friend.
hope to get 1 more friend that care of me.
They wont reply.because I'm just stranger for them.
They though I want chase them.No!
I just need care!
I care of people, But people dont care about me.
why?Izit because I'm guy(for girls)?Only girls need care?
I'm So speechless and disappointed always


I'm a happy boy before,
why i will become like that.
all because of relationship
I'm stronger now.
But

The stronger I'm ,the deeper I hurt.
-------------------------------------------------------
This panda toy is gift by my oldersister.
Just emo-ing that time and play with my camera.
than i snap this and put this 5 picture in 1.

Panda,why your eyes looks happy
why you did not have tear
why you're having colorful life
Why?
See through your eyes
and look like you are telling me
Don't cry because it's over
Smile because it happened
Happiness is when your mind is thinking through your heart.